The One Thing That Makes Every Argument Worse (And How to Avoid It)

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Let’s face it: relationships aren’t always smooth sailing. Misunderstandings, disagreements, and yes, even banter, can sometimes create tension. Banter, when lighthearted and fun, can be a fantastic way to connect with your partner. But when it crosses the line into harmful territory, it’s no laughing matter.

What is Harmful Banter?

Harmful banter includes insults, put-downs, or remarks that sting. Even when disguised as jokes, these words can hurt deeply, causing feelings of anger, resentment, and even betrayal.

Here’s the thing: harmful banter can creep into your relationship without you even realizing it. Joking about sensitive topics like appearance, intelligence, or personal choices may feel harmless at first, but it can chip away at self-esteem and trust.

Recognizing the Signs of Harmful Banter

Here are a few examples of harmful banter that can hurt your relationship:

• Joking about personal traits: Teasing about someone’s looks, intelligence, or habits can lead to insecurity.

• Mocking interests or hobbies: Dismissing your partner’s passions can cause resentment.

• Criticizing loved ones: Making fun of their family or friends creates unnecessary conflict.

Banter should never leave someone feeling bad about themselves. Instead, it should uplift and strengthen the bond between you.

How to Avoid Harmful Banter

If you’ve noticed banter causing issues, don’t ignore it. Address it together and find ways to make your humor healthier. Here are some tips to keep things playful, not painful:

1. Know and respect boundaries
   Some people enjoy teasing, while others don’t. Understand your partner’s comfort zones and adjust your banter accordingly.

2. Avoid using banter to criticize
   Teasing is never a tool to put someone down or vent frustrations.

3. Don’t take it too seriously
   If jokes are starting to sting, it’s time to pause and re-evaluate.

4. Use banter to build up, not tear down
   Banter should be a tool for fun, connection, and encouragement. Find ways to tease that highlight your partner’s strengths or shared inside jokes.

The golden rule? Keep it mutual and fun! Both partners should feel included, safe, and amused—never singled out or humiliated.

Ultimately, banter is meant to add joy to your relationship, not take away from it. If you’re mindful of your words and each other’s feelings, it can be a delightful way to grow closer.

Take Your Relationship to the Next Level!
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Connect with the creator of Couply

Hey I’m Tim, the creator of Couply! I’m working as hard as I can with our small team to make a big difference in your romantic lives. I’d love to hear from you. You can hit me up with feature ideas, improvements or to say hi. Just drop me a note below, which links to my email address. 🙏